I don’t think you misunderstood my message, but perhaps the application of that message. As Chuck suggested, there is a needed balance in the area of Self-love. Self-value is important in the area of redemption, but there is a sinful “self-love” that is deadly, and has really become the popular religion of our day. You wrote, “I once lived a life with the views of the puritan lad. I felt I was unworthy of God’s love and forgiveness. I would never be good enough for God’s Grace”. In this you are correct. We are unworthy and will never be good enough for God’s grace. That’s what makes Amazing Grace so amazing, the fact that we are unworthy. Once we realize our own unworthiness, we are never so close to the Kingdom of God.

You then wrote, “then God reminded me that I was made in His image and was worthy of forgiveness all I had to do was ask in faith and it would be done.” The idea that we are “worthy of forgivenness” is a slippery slope, because we are not worthy of forgiveness. Again, that’s why grace is required. If we were worthy of forgiveness, then grace would no longer be grace, but rather more like a wage that is owed to us. However, “It is a gift of God, lest any man should boast”. Once we start down the path of our own worthiness, we can get into all kinds of trouble. For one, we begin to take our own sins too lightly. While we are justified by faith alone, we must never look at our sin lightly. We also begin to focus more on other people’s sins rather than our own, and thus cannot forgive others, which is something God requires of us. When we focus on our own “worthiness”, then we have no way to understand trials and sufferings which are all promised to us as Christians. We can’t understand why the world hates us, why we get sick, why children die? Why does God allow this to “worthy” people? (You’ll notice that very few people ever ask “Why does God allow me to be healthy? Why does He allow me to live?”) We just assume that God owes us these things when we really don’t want what God owes us.

In short, the reason why God forgave you, me, or anyone was not because we are worthy or in any way deserving of His favor, but because he chose to do so in His wonderful Love.

When we properly understand ourselves and the Holiness of God, we will not be “lovers of self”, nor will we be “haters of self” (which is what you appear to have been). We will have a proper view of ourselves (and get our eyes off of ourselves) where Christ alone may shine through our idol of self. We will be able to deny ourselves, take up our crosses, and follow Him as true disciples.

Self is a dangerous and deceptive idol that seeks to place itself on the throne of the God of Heaven and tell Him “My Council shall stand, and I will do all my pleasure”. Self must be abased (John 3:30), denied (Matthew 16:24), and put to death (Romans 8:13). Lovers of self cannot be lovers of God, for no one can serve two masters (Matthew 6:24).

“We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, …” (Romans 6:6-8)

For I know that, in my flesh, there dwells no good thing.

One of my favorite books is Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers. This book was a tool in me realizing how much God loves me and that I must love myself because He loves me. He loves me despite myself. I live to Honor God each day and there are times I fall short, but instead of beating myself up, like I used to, I repent and draw closer to God.

A lot of people take love of self as conceit, but I don’t love myself in the sense of the way people of this world loves themselves. I love the woman I am becoming each day in Christ. I love the love that flows out of me that was bound up for years.