Happy Tuesday!
Yesterday, I went with some of my family to decorate Moms grave for the fall. My Aunt Sherry set up some beautiful sunflowers and cut the grass with scissors. We had a really good time visiting together… and after everyone else headed for home, I remained behind for some time.
Since Mom is buried on a lovely country hill only a few hundred yards from her house, I’m able to sit at her feet, leaning against another stone facing moms headstone… and whenever I glance to my right, I can see the window to the room mom spent most of her final years. I can see the exact places I rolled her wheelchair on our walks to see the cows. I even saw the path we took through that exact cemetery in front of that exact gravesite… only a week before she passed away.
I could almost FEEL her as I remembered things she said to Heaven and me during one of those last walks.
As is my custom, I always listen to moms last voice mail to me… my friend Rob Powers added background music and recorded the voice mail to a file. It’s so nice to HEAR her voice. In that one minute and two second voice mail, she said a prayer for me… it captured so many of her amazing qualities.
So yesterday, I listened to that last voice mail five of six times… looked over at her old house… remembering all the time we spent in that family room, talking about EVERYTHING! Mom was such a good counselor… and even though I didn’t always take her advice, she was an amazing LISTENER… and such an ENCOURAGER…
I remembered as much of my childhood as I could during yesterdays visit, thanking God for the beautiful love Barbara Lynn Dobzeniecki Balsamo gave me. Us kids and her siblings, and her parents… we were everything to her… she lived for our visits… she measured time as the intervals between those visits!
For some strange reason… yesterdays visit ended up being the most difficult one for me in a VERY long time. I could not stop crying about how badly I desired to see her one more time. Life has been so challenging since her departure only three years ago. There are so many things I would love to SHARE with her! She would have loved an invite for dinner on my completed patio… she would have loved for me to read to her from my book… mom would have loved Facebook Farm-town… she would have commented my blog EVERY MORNING… mom would have knocked the lights out of a few people on my behalf! lol
There is no treasure in all the earth more precious than the treasured relationships we share with beautiful people! Even though Mom crossed over into eternity knowing Jesus… and even though she has joined in my great cloud of witnesses… I still miss my time with her. I miss her smile, and her laugh, and her HUGS… I miss her saying, “I love you more” every single time I said, “I love you.”
Today and everyday, I want to cherish each of my beautiful relationships. I pray to never take my dear Emily for granted… or my kids, Coree and Heaven… or the rest of my living family… or any of you guys! Love is a gift we experience AS WE SHARE it with others! The more we share it the more we know it!
1 John 4:12 No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us.
I hope todays blog inspires a phone call or a visit to someone special from each of you guys… just to let them know you CARE! Life is short… and the real value of our key relationships is never truly known until the people who love us the most are no longer here. Have a most outstanding day good people! God bless you all!
Beautiful, Pastor Chuck. And you are so right. "Treasured relationships." Thanks for posting this.
Wow Pastor Chuck. Im literally sitting here in tears after reading that. I know what its like to miss your mom. ALthough mines been gone 18 years and missed every mile stone in my life, i still miss her just as much now as before… well maybe a little more now… she would have loved to see my new family and most of all meet you… a great and wonderful pastor. its hard to be without my mom, but i know shes there when i need her… always finding something to make me smile about when im down. i know shes waiting for me to see her again someday and i know your mom is doing the same. The greatest thing about knowing Jesus & knowing God is that we have the hope to reunite with our loved ones again someday… somedays thats all that keeps me going… trying to do my best to make mom proud so when i see her again i can make her smile! =)
its great that you have so many wonderful memories of your mom… and great that you can cherish them! missing her wont get easier, this i know… but keep smiling because you know that your mom would want you to be strong whenever things go rough.
That was very inspiring. You brought tears to my eyes.Jason and you are so much a like when it comes to your mom. Between just the two of you she will never be forgotten and the two of you will always tell storys and spread the memoriers that you all had. She was a great women. She had to be to created to wonderful boys they way she has. I can only imagine what everyone goes through that has lost their mothers. When I think of losing mine I go a little insane. My sisters have already said they will go ahead and amitted me to western state when that happens because nobody is going to be able to handle me. So, great blog today. Hope you smile really big every time you think of her.
God gives grace so that we can handle things like that. It's his spiritual pain killer. And he doesnt just mask over the pain… somehow he makes it alright… he brings good out of bad, gain from loss. Some days, the pain comes up… and I have to run back to God for help. He is always there for me… and he will always be there for you guys! What a great god we serve! Thanks for these BEAUTIFUL comments everyone! Have a super night!!!
Wow….tears. This makes me miss my parents. I am so glad that you had that meaningful time with her before she passed away. Remember you are passiing her legacy of encouragement and counseling on daily. You are an encourager and counselor to others. More people see Christ because of this!!!!
This made me cry. Your mom was amazing. I always appreciated how good she was to my sister. And she was an awesome grandmother to my nieces and nephew.
Thank you for saying that Terri… i hope life is going really good for you these days! I really miss seeing Jen and Herb and Tonya… think about you all from time to time wondering how everyone is. Hope you have a great saturday!!