Happy Saturday!

We Almost Died!

Was up all night throwing up every undigested item in my tumultuous digestive system… then bile acids, then maybe a few organs like the unextracted remains from my appendix operation (from 25 years ago), then NOTHING! (they call that the dry HEAVES!) My fingers almost hurt too much to type right now. Ouch, my eyes! (looking away from this bright computer screen)

Hmmmm, maybe it was that fast food Pina Colada milk shake? (Grrrr, let’s call the attorney?) Maybe we were poisoned! (anybody up for a conspiracy theory?)

The only thing we ate in common yesterday, were those two Pina Colada milk shakes. We both had one, and then a few hours later, we were both having a near death experience together! (just like we had always hoped, just about 50 years too soon!)

Don’t worry though. I’m sure this is only a coincidence.

One man jeers… “Maybe it’s a punishment for his sins!” (shut up, hater!) lol

Horrible night, still feeling very bad this morning. Poor Chucky and Emily. (sad face with lower lip puckered out)

Mean Emily!

Of course, I’m still snickering about Emily! haha haaaaa! Why, you ask? Why????? Well, let me telllll you WHY…

I got sick a few hours before Emily… and I am a VERY loud vomiter! So, I was in the bathroom making very LOUD noises for a very LONG time!

I was like, “Ohhhhh Goooooddddd, Dear God, help me! Oowwwoooooo! Ouuuuuuwwwww! Ouuuuchhhhhhh! Emmmillly, Somebody, Anyboddddyyyy, pleeeeeaaseee help meeeee!”

And you know what Emily did? She LAUGHED her BIG FAT head off!!

No, I’m not exaggerating people!

I’m talking, BELLY LAUGHING here… while I was seeing that glorious bright light everyone talks about… you know, the one we’re supposed to see when WE CROSS OVER?

Ok, so I WAS groaning for about an hour before I started yacking! I was dizzy! My body was aching like 25 white faced, bloody eyed, vampire teethe, horror film toddlers we’re beating me everywhere with ball pean hammers! (one in EACH hand… that’s FIFTY ball pean hammers, right?!)

She Thought I Was a Faker!

So, before I threw up for the first time, she must have thought that I was FAKING IT! Grrrrr!

One time she was cracking up laughing so hard, I think there were real tears in her eyes! I kept telling her to stop, because it HURT TO LAUGH… and did she show me ANY mercy… NONE AT ALL!

So, I came out of the bathroom, shocked to still be alive! (please refer to the opening paragraph for a brief refresher!)

I came out of the bathroom… and caught a glimpse of her devious face as the television light revealed her heartless GRIN! I said, “You’re a mean person Emily Balsamo! Mean!”

She didn’t say a word until I got back under the covers. Then, after a few long seconds of silence, she whispers to me in a motherly tone, “Wow, Charlie, you really are pretty sick… poor thing.” (save it Emily, I’ve learned to manage without you!) lol

Who’s Faking it Now, Emily!

About an hour later… Emily jumps up, and sprints to the bathroom like she isn’t going to make it… and BLOWS IT UP for the next 30 minutes! “Baaaaaaaaa!!! Suffer Emily! Thats right… now you know what it feels like!!! Ooooooo! Who’s the faker now! HEY, can you keep it down in there! You’re wakin’ the whole neighborhood up!” hahahahahahaha!!! lol!

I Laughed My Head Off!

So Emily came out of the bathroom, with a dejected look on her face. She took ten minutes to get back into bed, and looked over at me… now VERY HUMBLED! She said to me, “I’m sorry for being so mean to you Charlie… I had no idea how bad you were feeling. Wow, thats the worse I’ve thrown up in my entire life.”

And then SHE whimpered for a little while… and you know what I did? You’re exactly right! I LAUGHED MY HEAD OFF, and asked her to PLEASE go brush her teethe, or talk in the other direction! LOL

That was the funniest sick night of my life!

That’s it for today… just thought you guys might like to benefit from our misery! A very bad night… but it sure made for one heck of a blog! I guess I better go check on Emily! NOT! Haha!

Really, we both still feel very bad… confident we’re improving and we’ll be in tip top shape for tomorrows 10am church service @ Destiny Family Center! See you there?? I hope so!

Dream Big, Live Bold, and Make the Difference!

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