Just sitting in my sun room, thinking about my grandma this morning, feeling crushed with the sadness of her passing.
I wanted (and really needed) ten more years with that special lady… would have settled with ten more months or even just ten more days.
It is amazing, how much the value of a person increases during their final days and hours.
Just to hear her tell me one more time, “I love you SOOO much Chucky, you have been such a good grandson to me.”
To hear her laugh at one of my jokes and shake her head and say, “Ahh Chucky, you’re too much!”
To see her nose scrunch up one more time, as I bend down to kiss it.
To sit at her bedside and hold her hand, and feel her grip my fingers like she never wants to let me go…
My grandma was crazy about me! She loved everything about me, and I loved everything about her!
Hospice sent my grandmother home from the hospital with a wheelchair, and every day I asked her, “Momma, can I take you on a wheelchair ride?” Every day, she smiled back at me and faintly replied, “Not today Chucky, maybe tomorrow.”
One day it was trash pick up day… so, I told her I was going to line up the neighborhood trash cans, and then wheel her to the top of the hill in front of her house, and launch her down the hill like a bowling ball at the trash cans! And she laughed real hard and said, “Chucky, you’re crazy” and after a long pause, she said, “I love you so much…”
Believe it or not, my grandma lived 78 years and never ate crab legs. She had blue crabs plenty of times when she lived in New York, but never steamed crab legs.
A few months ago, Momma was supposed to come to my house for dinner. Emily and I were going to surprise her with crab legs. That’s when she first got sick, and she cancelled the appointment (so apologetically). And now she has gone to heaven, never knowing the deliciousness of crab legs dipped in butter. :'(
Emily and I planned to take her to the pumpkin patch like last year. She had so much fun that day. Now, I will be preaching her funeral on the exact day and hour we would have been picking out her pumpkins and drinking apple cider.
People tell us to lean on God, like we can just switch off a lifetime of attachment with the clap of our hands. Please don’t get me wrong here. God’s grace is one of the realest forces in the universe. He has given me His peace, and yes I am thrilled to think of my grandma in heaven. It’s still not easy when a person who is this influential is suddenly gone.
I bet you know exactly what I’m talking about. I bet you and I could go on and on with stories like this. I’m sure you’ve been through this before.
I’m being affected with this loss in ways I cannot even describe.
God Will Heal Us
Yet, I can feel God’s healing power at work in my heart this morning. I have total confidence in His ability to help me through the days and years ahead.
Tonight, God will touch us at the funeral home through the love of many friends… and tomorrow, He will hallow the ground under our feet at the sacredness of my grandmothers memorial service. Please pray that I will have strength to preach this funeral service… that my words will honor my “Momma,” heal my family, and greatly inspire our community!
Tomorrows memorial service will be held in the Destiny Family Center sanctuary @ 11am.
Thank you all for your many gestures of love. God will bless you for reaching out to us.
We Will Overcome
Maybe this message will inspire you in some mysterious way. Maybe it’ll cause you to reach out with love in ways you haven’t been reaching.
I just finished praying for you, hoping you really feel the difference.
Please leave your comments here on the blog site so that we will always have a record of your beautiful thoughts.
With much love…
Dream Big, Live Bold, and Make the Difference!