God loves us so much more than we will ever comprehend. His love is incomprehensible! Sometimes, our lives become too rushed and complicated to feel God.
In those times we pray, but we don’t really feel anything.
We reach for God, but as we reach, there seem to be hands coming out of hell grabbing at us from the dark… pulling us away from the warmth of being perfectly joined with our Father.
Then comes a collapse so painful, we lay on the ground never expecting to rise… and in those broken places, God comes to us with His love.
This week, it seems the God has interrupted my rushed and complicated existence to LOVE ME in an unimaginable way! I’ve journeyed through intense brokenness, humility, new revelation, and one of the top 5 realities of God’s love and presence… of my entire life.
There are two prime causes behind this encounter.
- The unbearable pain of losing my dear friend Rocky Floyd. (Please read yesterdays blog, Rocky Lane Floyd: The Man Who Cared.)
- I just happened to be editing the last few chapters of my book this week, and yesterday afternoon I stumbled into the most INTROSPECTIVE segment of my entire book.
Here is an excerpt from that introspective segment…
Make Me a Legend
Chapter 15: Bow Lower As You Climb Higher
Humility Is Simple For The Humiliated Person
Up to this point, I have had my equal share of high successes and low failures—and everything in between! Since entering into full-time ministry 10+ years ago—I have been hunted, humiliated, and broken to pieces like few people I’ve ever known! Believe me, I have died a thousand deaths to remain in my life calling—that’s not an exaggeration!
In May of 2009, I was two months into the worse betrayal of my life. There has never been a close second. From my perspective, that situation was on a Biblical scale much like the stories of Absalom betraying David, or Judas Iscariot betraying Jesus Christ. Things were so painful that I could not see a single flicker of light in my tunnel of horror! There was one particular day during that unbearable time, when I had been hiding under the sheets of my bed, crying for most of the morning. Around noon, I fumbled my way into the bathroom, fell to my knees, then down to my face—and all alone on my bathroom floor, I wailed like a dying animal!
Somehow, I wound up in fetal position; the room was spinning in circles and I felt like I was having a massive heart attack! The pain was so intense; I hurled my puke onto the floor because I could not make it to the toilet. If I could have gotten to the phone, I would have called for an ambulance! During that time, I told my wife one night, “Honey, I’m losing my mind! This pressure is so intense, I’m scared I might just flip out, strip down naked, run out into the road, and dance around like a chicken until the police pick me up.” Have you ever known this kind of pain before? I have never experienced anything even remotely close to the agony of that betrayal.
Oh, please don’t feel bad for me. I didn’t die that day. Just when I thought I would never see the outside of that master bathroom again, God knelt down in my vomit, scooped me into His loving arms, and held me close until that storm was passed. Just like the poem, “Footprints in the Sand,” I look back from here, and all I see is one set of footprints!
I am writing to you from the blessing side of that dark trial. The pain that came to kill me definitely made me better! Not just then, but every time in my life when it seemed like I was kicked down so low that I would never be able to rise from the ashes of my destruction—by an act of God, I lived to see a better day. Rejection creates humility, and humility arouses grace. “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” (James 4:5b NIV) God does give grace to the humble—and there is nothing like a vicious betrayal to humble a person!
Humility is simple for a humiliated person. Every time we make it out of a dark valley alive, we see more clearly the benefits of brokenness. The Apostle Paul wrote about the hidden value of painful circumstances. He said, “That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.” (2 Corinthians 4:16-18 NLT)
Have you recently or are you right now facing a similar degree of pain in your own life? Don’t let it kill you. Instead, leverage your humility! Don’t waste this trial playing the victim. A portal is opening with the mysterious blessing of this new humility, STEP INTO the love of your heavenly Father like you’ve never been able to do it before.
The following is a video recently aired on God TV. It’s Misty Edwards singing Arms Wide Open in the Kansas City International House of Prayer 24/7 Prayer and Worship Chapel. I hope it further enhances the potential of this moment!
Have a most triumphant Friday!