Our Dog Pooped In My Face This Morning!

Last night, our pug was sick. She seemed to be improving as we drifted off to sleep. I woke at 3:18am and I laid there with my eyes closed, trying to fall back to sleep for an hour. I heard Ming Me (our Pug) moving around in the covers. I whispered to Emily, “Do you think she’s sick again? Do you think I should take her for a walk?” She said, “No!” irritated that I would bother her. A few minutes later, all hell broke loose…

Twenty more minutes passed and Ming Me crawled her way to the head of the bed. She climbed out of the covers and hurried back down to our feet.

And, it happened.

She turned her puckering rear to the edge of the bed, raised her tail straight up in the air, and LET IT GO… all over the hardwood floors, all over MY clothes dresser, and all the way to the window frame!

It sounded like the squeezing of an empty catchup container.

Finally, Emily realized she should have taken me serious! Her reaction was pretty violent at first, being fully awakened to those unforgettable sounds! She yelled at me, “Hurry up and GET HER OFF THE BED!” Lol.

So I jumped up like a man protecting his family from a midnight burglar. I went around the bed to where she was, never imagining how much worse things could turn out for me.

I reached for the dog and lifted her into the air. I only wanted to take her to the yard before this happened again. But she tried to escape me, and somehow I ended up with her BUTT six inches from my FACE!

In the millisecond it took me to realize what was happening, she exploded again! Seriously, there is no english word to describe what happened to me.

It was HOT and FORCEFUL!

I felt drops landing on my LIPS and TONGUE!

The main stream spattered directly into my right EYEBALL!

It covered my hair like CHOCOLATE STYLING MOOSE!

The SMELL and TASTE made me vomit in my mouth!

I’m not exaggerating!!

Lol.

Obviously, I dropped the dog and staggered to the nearest sink so I could rinse my contaminated eyeball. But Emily actually yelled at me! “Don’t just PUT HER DOWN! Come ON CHUCK, you are over-reacting!” Emily, “Over-reacting, really?!” Haha.

Wow you guys, it’s going to take us 10 loads of laundry to wash everything she sprayed! We were on our hands a knees for 30 minutes at 4:00am sterilizing our floors, furniture, and walls!

Eventually, after all the clean up, I was permitted to shower. But, the story didn’t end there! No, we didn’t all live happily ever after. I thought there would be peace. But I was wrong!

As I was in the shower and burning up a bar of soap, Emily charged into the bathroom with our Chihuahua in her hands. She said, “Chica needs to take a shower with you, because somehow Ming Me pooped in her face too!” Emily went back to Lucy (our daughter’s Chug), and found that Ming blasted her too.

So, after everything I had just experienced, here I was showing with two dogs as they shredded me with razor sharp teeth and claws. 

Then, just when this story could not seem any more exaggerated, the SHOWER HEAD BROKE OFF THE PIPE and water sprayed all over the bathroom!!

Can you believe it? Me neither! But it’s the truth. This was the greatest test of our marriage. Any lesser couple would have been in counseling this afternoon. Lol.

Really, we both handled this crises exceptionally well. There was one point when the reality of what was happening hit us both at the same time, and we laughed so hard we couldn’t catch out breath. Our sides were splitting, and tears were coming out!

Today, we’re both pretty tired. I still have a nasty smell stuck in my nose. Besides that, we have one hilarious story to tell our friends.

This is what real life is about; special MEMORIES with special people. Now that its over, I wouldn’t take it back. I thank God for a wife that makes life fun, even in the dark moments, especially in the dark moments.

The moral to our story is this: When something poops in your face, laugh out loud and say to yourself, “This will make one heck of a story!”

I hope we made you laugh.

Dream Big,

Chuck

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50 thoughts on “Our Dog Pooped In My Face This Morning!

  1. I was having a very bad morning….and I don't think there could have been remotely anything that would have made me laugh, and laugh out loud! If this wasn't for anyone else in the world it was for me!

  2. You have no idea how hard I laughed at this! I tried to read it aloud to my daughters and had to stop several times to wipe the tears away. I realize this was at your expense (and Emily too), but this was over the top. Hope you all get back to normal soon.

  3. Chuck ,

    Thank you for the grusome tail this morn , sounds like an oridinary day in my life ! I swear , if it's going to go wrong it's going to happen to me . It's refeshing to think that I am not the only one that suffers from such grusome and crappy days !!!!!!

  4. Yuck times infinity!! My cat Diva did her thing her 12 inches away from her litterbox! I was so mad, I'd just changed it too! What is up with this? You story is a million times grosser so you win. Try some vicks vapor rub in your nose. I worked at a pet store for a few months and had to clean the grates in the am. Worst job ever, I swore I could smell it hours after work even though people told me they couldn't! But the vicks helped get the smell out of my nose.

    Wow I can't believe I'm commenting about this ewwwness,

    Mel

  5. Thanks so much for sharing this with us, I am still laughing. Actually I am laughing so hard I am crying. My daycare kids think I'm nuts…..Oh well, I hope the remainder of your day is great. Kelly

  6. So my day didn't start out the best…. but yours… WOW!!! All I could do through my laughter and tears this morning was gasp out the words… REALLY?! There have been many days the people at work think I am nuts after they see me read your blog but I am sure today they were ready to bring the straight jacket!! Thanks for sharing and I pray Ming Me is back to health soon! Love you guys!!

  7. Pastor Chuck this story is hillarious. I know it wasnt funny for you and Emily at 4:00 in the morning. I was needing something to help me make it thru on a monday and this story really made my day. I was setting at my desk at work and just busted out laughing. My co-worker looked over at me and ask me if i was okay. We are blessed to have a you and Emily!! Hope you are both having a better day!!

  8. That was a hilarious story it almost sounded real[haha]. We have 2 pugs and they are the most wonderful pets. When they are sick its like having a sick child. Ours sleep with us also. Well I will be praying for her to be better. I hope you all get a good night sleep tonight. Our pugs are age 2&9 years. We loved Kent Henry and all the wonderful people we talked to at your church. Hope to see you again soon. God bless you, Terri

    • Terri… this story is 100% real. (lol) I know it is so hard to believe! Dear God, I wish it was a joke. But then everyone wouldn't have the good laugh. haha 🙂

  9. Pastor, it’s all because Kent left. haha. Last night I started getting a sniffle and took some meds my husband gave me. Funny enough, it had codeine in it. What normally happens when people take codeine is they pass out within 30 minutes. Justin didn’t know that I’m the total opposite. I was hyper as all get out and watched movies until about 2 this morning. Then this morning I woke up with a soar throat and now am fighting the chills and a fever. Body Aches the whole nine yards. Kent just needed to stay another week 🙂

    Hopefully the tramatic experience hasn’t left a scar on you. Will be praying for your recovery 🙂

  10. OK, that was totally gross – but it made me laugh, too! Glad you have such a good outlook with regards to the situation. Don’t think I would have…lol!

  11. Talk about transparent, not in a million years would i tell anyone that my dog pooped in my mouth. That’s one of the reason we all love you so much, your transparency. You know its going to be fun in church on sunday…

  12. I couldn’t help but laugh but at the same time I felt bad for laughing KNOWING how you feel about those sorts of things. When I commented on your facebook earlier this morning (before reading the blog) I thought the dog had thrown up on you and that was horrible enough! But then to read this, oh my! Im so sorry!!

    Is Ming-Me better tonight?

    • haha, it's ok Vickie! It was terrible at the moment, but so many people smiled today because of the story. So, in a very bizarre kind of way, it was absolutely worth it. 🙂

  13. My wife is not allowed to read this. She would never allow us to have a dog again. I’m currently waiting patiently until our 2 yr old twins hit 5 or 6 before we’re allowed to introduce the puppy variable.

    I would say thanks for sharing, but I wasn’t intending on having a forced fast today. I’m really not sure what I’m feeling right now. 🙂

    • haha, I will pray for you Brett! 🙂 Thanks for posting a comment, it’s an honor. I’m praying for your two year twins… that God will keep his hand on them all the days of their lives. God bless you my friend. (smile)

      • Thanks for the prayer. We thought long and hard on their names (and ended up w/ two of the most common), but Jake and Sam–I pray that Jake wrestles (positively) with God for his blessing and that Samuel is used to identify and call out leaders. Of course, whatever He wants to do is cool. And our daughter, Grace is in her name, and we pray for that.

        Well–not sure why I decided to share all that, but ‘whatev’ as the kids say.

  14. that is a little worse than my cats doing the sbd’s in case you never listened to george carlin and sbd means silent but deadly lolHAHAAHAHAseeyaSunday!!!!

  15. I seriously can’t stop laughing! Great moral of the story and just makes me love you and Emily THAT MUCH MORE!

  16. Rolling around the floor in tears of laughter!Bahahahaha!! Thanks for the great New Year belly laugh!Thanks for the instagram follow @themoneyshot_ Totally hilarious! I don’t generally use Facebook or email -only instagram. I’m the eldest daughter of the late Irene Gleeson who rescued 10000 orphans in Kitgum,Uganda for 21 years before she passed 3 years ago.I’ve attended Ps Phil Pringle’s C3 church for 33 years & I evangelize Instagram.