Rejection Is Painful, But Never Stop Loving

Never Stop Loving

Dear Friends,

I know it’s weird, but I’ve been thinking way too much about my death lately. I’m having a terrifying premonition that something is about to happen to me.

Though I hope to God this is just one of those strange thoughts we all have from time to time as we get older… it’s really affecting me today.

For the past few days, I’ve been staring deeper into the eyes of people who mean so much to me.

I’ve been lingering on phone calls for an extra few seconds, taking a little longer to say goodbye… saying, “I love you” with far more emphasis.

This afternoon, I even had to turn away from my wife and walk out of the room, because I didn’t want her to see the swelling tears in my blood-shot eyes.

I guess this started a few days ago, when I watched a movie about the untimely death a good man. He knew it was coming, so he lived out his final days just as I would… concerning himself with his survivors. Did they really comprehend how much he loved them? Or had he failed to convey this to them, because his life was so darned laden with responsibilities and demands.

Love is the most beautiful force in the universe.

To deeply love the people around us is the greatest gift from God.

To never truly love is the greatest tragedy.

But love is painful.

 

There is no way to have love without the pain that comes with it.

The more you love, the more it hurts when your love is rejected.

Some people live with the constant agony of never being able to adequately convey their love to others.

Being a church pastor is one of the easiest ways to experience the kind of pain I’m writing about.

For the past 10 years, I’ve made it my highest life purpose to love every single person God has brought into my life. Of course I’m just one man and I’m not omnipresent, but I’ve driven the wheels off of my life to care for as many as I can.

I visit them in the hospitals, jails, and nursing homes. I comfort them at funerals. Applaud them at weddings and graduations. I call, text, Facebook, and twitter sincere words of encouragement to as many people as any one person can reach… not just once in a while. I do this every day of my life.

Yet, there are always people walking away mad… because of the things I’ve failed to do.

It would be so easy, if I could just stop caring.

But, I haven’t found a way to turn it off. When I first started, people promised me that it would not hurt after it happened enough times. They said that my heart would develop a tough layer around it.

Thank God they were wrong.

Because, if it ever stops hurting, it’s no longer love.

If the cost of love is the pain of rejection, then this is the cross I will bear.

Just imagine how God must feel, when His perfect love is rejected by multiplied billions of people from around the world. Yet, God keeps reaching out to people, just like He did when He was fresh off the cross!

He [Jesus] was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. (Isaiah 53:3 NKJV)

He came into the very world he created, but the world didn’t recognize him. He came to his own people, and even they rejected him. (John 1:10-11 NLT)

At this point many of his disciples turned away and deserted him. (John 6:66 NLT)

Then all his disciples deserted him and ran away. (Mark 14:50 NLT)

This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you. There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. (John 15:12-13 NLT)

When we are rejected by the people we are trying to love, I hope that we will stay to our mission just like Jesus did, without becoming cold and cynical.

I hope that we will never stop loving and sacrificing our lives for others.

Never stop loving.

 

Because…

Real love always expresses itself with a sacrifice!

Sometimes, you have to love some people for a few decades before it’s ever reciprocated.

Sometimes it never is.

I will end this message as I began it, talking about my death.

Even if I live to be 100, life is still short. The greatest achievement I can every wish for, is to KNOW at the end of my life that I FOUND GOD’S LOVE, and that I GAVE IT TO OTHERS, BEST I KNEW HOW.

With whatever time I have left on this earth, I now pray my biggest prayer… that everyone around me will always know how much I love them. Even when I fail them. Even on the days when I am selfish and self centered. May I learn how to love as much as any human has ever loved. Please God, give me MORE of your perfect love. Cause people to see it, appreciate it, and benefit from it. -In Jesus name I pray, amen.

Dream Big,

Chuck

Todays image from Sodahead.com

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

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19 thoughts on “Rejection Is Painful, But Never Stop Loving

  1. Good stuff and I will be borrowing from this for years to come…….

    I often reference something from MMAL so this will add to my repertoire . Which includes tidbits from Zig Ziglar, Nornam Vincent Peale and others…..

    Thanks

    • Marty, you inspire me more than you will ever imagine. I’m so happy that you are coming to our super bowl party and SPEAKING at half time! You’re a champion person. Love you pal.

  2. Hey Chuck, I can feel your heart and I appreciate the way you are so transparent with your feelings. We all experience feelings that are dark or negative, and yet, so few of us have the courage to share them with others. In doing that, you have loved again. When you share your heart like this, it gives inspiration and hope to others, me being one of them. I hope I can be as open with my heart in a way that will show love and help others, and not worry about how it sounds or what people might think of me. This act of love in your sharing gives me comfort. I do feel loved by you and I know the Father is pleased with your heart of love towards others. Here are some scriptures for you.

    “This is my command–be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9 NLT

    “Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.” Isaiah 41:10 NLT

    “For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.” Zephaniah 3:17 NLT

    “And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.” Romans 8:38 NLT

    • Pastor,
      There will always be something we fail to do….You can live to be 1000 and there will still be that
      one person who walks away mad because somehow you have failed them. Your Job is to lead the flock , be a good shephard,our job is to listen to what God has given you to feed our hearts then apply it. I said APPLY IT! Hello…
      Most of the Church congregation today is relying on the Pastor to read,interpret and somehow apply what he is reading and speaking to their lives with no effort on their part.
      The age of Facebook,Twitter, microwaves,cell phones ,is fast becoming the ruination of Society as we know it,in my opinion.
      Before you call me old fashion let me explain. We have become a society where everything is too fast and easy. Computers, cell phones,then Facebook,twitter…etc.etc., came along and were supposed to make life simpler and easier and yet now most are working even more hours on their jobs than before,taking calls and e-mails from work after hours at home.
      While these are Great tools to get information out and keep up with Friends…They will never replace a good ole fashion hand shake,smile,or here we go: Prayer time and Bible study!!
      Most of us if we are honest spend far more time social networking with our friends than we do Social Networking with God. Prayer and God’s word has, and is fastly changing my way of thinking ,my attitude, and my Life for the better. I have a long ways to go but I have begun a new Journey In Christ Jesus!!! Praise The Lord!!
      Pastor, I have had this feeling of dying before and you know I am ready whenever that time comes,but for now in the moment , as for me and my House we will serve the Lord!!
      One more thought,
      Let God’s dreams for you become your dreams for you,Pray about it and Leave all the consequences to Him!
      LOve you Pastor!!
      Coffeyman

      • I didn’t really clarify my point to well Pastor…If people spent just 1/3 of the time that they do on Facebook,twitter,TV etc.and complainig and trying to find something wrong….
        Just 1/3 Down on their knees seeking God’s face , and in his word,they would know you or no one else is perfect…and that Jesus is the only one who can truly guide one’s life. It is all of our Job not just the pastor’s to keep our eyes on Jesus ,when we take our eyes off Jesus it is like turning around in our seat and trying to look out the back window to drive…we are going to move forward if we push the gas pedal but a crash is in our future…those people walking away mad are crashing and burning because they are looking in the wrong direction…
        No offence Pastor, but you can’t do it all and this society needs to Look to Jesus ,and learn to love like he did.I need to look more to Jesus,what am I saying…?
        It takes more time than just an hour or two on Sunday…we need to get off Facebook or shut the TV down(not forever,long enough to develope a true relationship with God and to Hear from him Daily) and get back on our knees and in the word where we belong.
        I know you Love with a complete ,sincere ,and undying Love Pastor…I have seen it since the first time I entered DFC. It is because of your Love and Vision that the doors of Destiny Family Center were open for a week of Prayer and Fasting where I and my family found Jesus!!

        Thank you Lord for Pastor Chuck and all he does to get the message of your undying Love out to so many who are hurting. I pray right now in the name of Jesus that you would heal the hurt, put a shield around his heart and Give him the boldness to continue to speak your word,and do the things you have called him to do,and Leave the Consequences all to you…In Jesus name!!
        Sorry so lengthy…will think a little more next time before I post…: )

        • David, you have such a beautiful passion for one on one contact with people. I pray that God shows you how to use your gift… because I know that you are searching for the answers.

          Some people are called to motivate the masses, others are called to focus on one or a few at a time. It’s very important that we all know what GOD is calling us to do.

          We need only a few leaders to motivate the masses, and we need MANY leaders to disciple individuals. Still, we are all called to bless and build up the people around us… our families and friends, our coworkers and next door neighbors, etc.

          As you wrote, we much know when it is time to unplug from the world wide web and build the relationships in our personal lives… and do life with people… and influence them for Christ.

          Thanks for commenting!! Love you pal.

    • Hazel, I am so thankful to have known you for so many years. You are truly a beautiful person, so full of love and encouragement. I pray that God truly blesses you this year.

  3. Great post!! I know your heart and I know exactly where you are coming from. I think it has to do with our age. I am 41 and I have even bee thinking about that myself. The people around me are so special and I want to make sure that when I am on my deathbed that I have no regrets or at least the less possible. Family is everything to me.

    • Awesome Chris. You will not have regrets, because you are an outstanding person Chris. Love you and your wife, though I have never met you in person… I can tell so much about people by the things they write about. God bless you friend.

  4. I came across your site through another blog and …Wow, wow, wow!! God is working through you right now more than you know. Thank you immensely for posting this message.
    Every time I think God has blessed me enough for the day – He takes it steps further each time.
    You are an inspiration to more than just the people you know!

  5. I’ve read this post several times and I had to read it again this evening to remind myself that it is okay to love those that reject me….that is okay not to get mad because they’ve rejected me….that it is okay to keep on loving them and showing them that I love them. It is easy for me to crawl up into a ball after being rejected, but I always find myself thinking about those who’ve rejected me….wondering how are they…..wondering what hurt them so bad to reject love…..wondering what is hindering their acceptance of love.

    You have so many vying for your attention, care, and love. Tonight, I pray that you are able to find time to meet all those people’s needs through out your lifetime and eternally. Keep changing the world with your love.

    • Nuala, you have so closely identified with this post. Thank you for talking the time to comment… and thank you for blessing me with encouragement and prayer. Love you and Randy.